Romance might go down as yet another thing that Millennials manage to completely kill (say the Millennials writing this post). I mean, Tinder? Bumble? Christian Mingle? What’s with all these online, digital “Dating Apps” that promote the ultimately shallow creation of ultimately vapid romantic prospects? Romance is a thing that should be felt, not gamified. Which is why you should throw a Valentine’s Day Party.
Ok, we might have been (mostly) kidding with the whole “dating apps suck” schtick, but here at Century Novelty, we are party people, and so we came up with three ideas for potential parties thrown on this not-traditionally-a-party holiday. A word of warning, though: don’t plan one of these instead of a romantic date with your Significant Other, who may be thinking more “romantic candle-lit dinner” instead of “Speed-dating Soiree.” Speaking of…
Single? Don’t want to be? Welcome to speed dating. Here’s how it works: one: invite a whole bunch of single people over. Give everyone a number. Two: shove all the single people in a room. Three: give everyone a card with all of the single people on it (just numbers, NO NAMES!). Four: spend an evening singling and mingling (NO NAMES!) Five: at the end of the night, use these “I dig you” stickers to show your interest in prospective partners. Six: take all the cards and tabulate the results. If two people like each other, great, you can give them each others phone number or name or whatever. Seven: keep your next couple summers open and prepare to go to a lot of weddings, since you’re obviously a great matchmaker.
Are you such a Don Juan that you find yourself literally swimming in prospective partners? Do you feel like completely objectifying said prospective partners? Why not throw your own version of the Bachelor / Bachelorette? Pick up some imitation silk roses (because real roses are pricey) and have all the lucky contestants spend an evening (or a season) competing for your affection! Expensive trips to all-inclusive resorts not included!
Are you a group of strong, independent women who don’t need a man to celebrate Valentine’s Day? Why not throw a Galentine’s Party? Add a level of class / silliness with these super extra feather boas that pair perfectly with a big glass of your favourite red wine (we’re particularly partial to a good Pinot Noir).
Look, we know these aren’t ducks but holy quack LOOK AT THESE LITTLE LLAMAS AND THEIR LITTLE LLAMA VALENTINE’S DAY CARDS! Seriously, just pick up two dozen or so and shoehorn them into whatever party you want. Check it: Speed Dating… WITH LLAMAS! Bachelor Party… WITH LLAMAS! Galentine’s Day Blowout… YOU GUESSED IT, WITH LLAMAS!!